Know why the difference of confidence is a problem and how to solve it
Cara Maximo left his job of 13 years as a Pharmaceutical Sales Manager due to a company’s reorganization three years ago. He had dreamed of returning to his previous career as a physician, but he felt about opening his own practice that the panic overwhelmed by him, he was still a licensed social worker, but he had a decade Patients did not see longer than that.
A fast talking person who bounces to consider with contagious enthusiasm, the native of New Jersey says that he was eager to take the opportunity to become the owner of his business, but his mind was full of ideas of failure: What if he opened a private practice and hired him? What if he failed and everyone knew?
After all, he decided to apply for a new job in pharmaceutical sales because it was more comfortable than jumping out of that confidence. His work would be simple and familiar, almost at the same time, he kept a life coach who encouraged him to move forward with his business.
“I was hesitant to take the next step because I did not know I could do this,” Maximo says. “It was tough. But now things are really going well, and I look back and think that being a perfectionist, I worry, can I really start my own business?”
Maximo is not alone in making his second guess, he was experiencing what many women have on a daily basis: despite low confidence, above average ability and skill. For BBC World News America, Washington, DC, Anchor and Kabir Shipman, ABC News and Good Morning Americakorrespondent Katti, wrote Kathie KE, an important book on this subject, The Confidence Code. It explores an incident in our society: Men are almost always more confident than women, even if women are equal or more talented
Men are almost always full of self-confidence compared to women, even if women are equally or more talented.
The implications of this confidence interval are serious because of some high level of self confidence in research, people are advancing to become more successful in life and in work. In fact, KA and Shipman concluded that proficiency is more important than efficiency. Because women are more likely to be perfectionist and avoid risk taking, they generally feel less confident, which means they are less likely to speak in meetings, raise salaries or ask to negotiate. Many women go behind where they can be great. Although they consider the tone of their boss a second time in the annoyance comment or suggest a bold idea in a meeting, note that their male counterparts threw out potential negative comments, spoke confidently, and finally passed them done.
This problem equally affects entry-level workers and C-level executives. “A year before the publication of his book” LAN in India “, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg told us,” I still feel like a deceit in days, I do not know where I should be, “Cai and Shimpan The Confidence Code In the same way, both of us gave credit for their success throughout our year, or, like Blanche Dubois, for the kindness of strangers. And we were not deliberately disliking ourselves-we actually believed in it. After all, how could we be able to reach the place where we will get? ”
Now the prevailing study of the confidence gap between men and women was recorded in the McKinsey Quarterly in 2008. The authors noted the internal research of Hewlett Packard, which found that men usually apply for promotions when they complete 60 percent of the required eligibility, while women apply only when they get 100 percent.
Regardless of being qualified as men, women believed that they had not been hired till they could not get all the qualifications, so that they would not be applicable “Therefore, when we are perfect, essentially, women Feels confident or practically perfect, “KE and Shipman The Confidence Code states” Undercluified and underpranded Mars inclination is not about twice as much Njit more prepared, many women are still lagging behind. “Many women feel that they are not at the top, or they are afraid of their confidence will come as aggressive or control
And this issue is not exclusive to women – although it is most obvious – many men know that a colleague likes to see with confidence more intensively than the increase in intelligence through ranks-it seems that more diligent , On the back of more qualified counterparts.
Another study by Professor Cameron Anderson of the Organizational Behavior at Berkeley, has supported the notion that more confidence than capability is more than confidence, he made a study in which he questioned nearly 250 students for the name and historical events. A list has been given and asked to identify those people whom they recognized was a turning point, Dypi. Some names and incidents were fully fabricated, such as the last ride of Galileo LOVANO and Murphy, after they evaluated during their assessment among their students that students who have chosen the most fake names and act like they know That they receive the most respected and admiration with them.
“We have gone crazy with this [subject], especially when we are starting researching about Cameron Anderson’s ability against confidence,” said Shipman. “What is he looking for that self-confidence – whether we are the same for the attitude of merit in terms of everyday success or the standard definition of success? All this is really that we believe in.”
Women are raised to think that if they work hard and work well in school, they will be rewarded, she says. But in reality, being intelligent or diligent by enhancing self-confidence gives inspire and inspiration to others. If you believe, then you “are more likely to hear your thoughts and get more follow up about them,” Shipman said. “It’s shocking.”
Honor and praise We want to achieve all the qualities. But it goes down from the surface: Lack of confidence is also a real, concrete result.
Linda Babcock is an economics professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, and did not ask women’s writers to study with some of her business students, checking how much faith is in the conversation. He found that men often talked about women as their salary four times. When women talk, they ask for 30 percent less than their male counterparts
During his career as a physician, Maximo worked with many patients who struggled with perfection. She says that the greatest danger in this kind of conceptual thinking is that it creates a notion that everything is black and white-if some are not completely innocent, then the perfectionists consider it a failure.
Maximo says, “We have these high expectations which are almost impossible to meet.” “We are all humans, so when things get lesser than right, instead of looking at it is okay, okay I tried, or I went to, or maybe next time, or it was very good, we think It was not right, so forget it, this is a complete failure, this is where confidence comes. Many people who come with depression and anxiety, especially depression and many negative self talk They are ‘complete’ Security is expensive and they have to find hard time.
Shipman says that he realizes that there are subtle differences in the minds of men and women. Small differences in structure and chemistry can be responsible for different types of thoughts and behaviors in general, and it can affect the level of confidence. Some studies show that women emiglala activate more areas than men in the brain responsible for fear. Another study shows that high levels of testosterone are correlated with risk-taking.
According to Gail Saltz, MD, psychiatry professor of Wells-Cornell Medical College, psychological disorders such as nervousness and depression, often affect self-confidence, are more likely to diagnose. Links between disorder and genius
“Anxiety disorder and mood disorder, in particular, depression are often twice in women, as they do in men,” says Saltz. “We have different hormones and different hormonal conditions which affect our stars – more tendency to experience those things – anxiety and depression – often insecurity feed. We think about other people or about us Are not thinking in, can be more sensitive in reading. ”
Saltz has experienced the difference of confidence as a young medical student at the University of Virginia, she had many experiences, making it difficult for her to become a career as a doctor, such as a physician asked her that she was the best of her birth. Why are giving years of waste to the areas like medical schools and neurosurgery – in which they are interesting – completely men’s Chsw was. He felt that he had to give more emphasis to succeed.
“I thought when I was called, there was a hell to answer me better.” “I thought it would be better than to have my male counterparts to swim in the sync-or-swim environment.”
Despite having more self-confidence and success in his career, Saltaj says that the difference of confidence is something that he had seen often at the beginning of his career “I would say that I have anomalies in numbers, discrepancies in salary, There is a lot of information about the discrepancy in opportunities, how it can handle, and the effect on someone’s confidence, which was enough. ”
Saltz believes that although we have progressed in equal rights to men and women, but we have not made much progress as we think we have a major danger for women as well. “It looks like a 50-50 world, but the reality is that there are still the perceptions that can undermine women’s self-confidence,” says Saltz. “The main part of them is that women do not get equal pay for similar jobs, it makes my brain that we are at that place now what is difficult about growing a young lady, is that something in it The notion that this is really the same, so it can be even more confusing, it’s still not [the same] still there are very few CEOs who are women. ”
Shipman said that in his research he was one of the most amazing discoveries that despite the progress of young women, there is a lack of trust, which has been built in the same right as women for the past few decades. She says that a solution is necessary for it to be emphasized by teaching the young girls to be academically proven and taught about the benefits of failure and risk taking.
After assessing all their research, KA and Shipman tried to understand the ideal level of confidence, people should try for it. They reached the conclusion that “our society and the way we work in the world and on the basis of the nature of human efforts, we lean towards a little bit of self-confidence,” shipment says. “It gives you little bias towards the action of protesting inactivity. You are going to make things.”
Good News? It is possible to increase your self-confidence, the easiest way is to get out of your head and take a step.
“If you are someone who overthinks, ruminates and evaluates, try to focus on that because you are spending as much time as possible, less likely that you are taking action,” Shipman says. “Surely thinking and testing is definitely clever, but once it reaches a certain point, then you are less likely to work. You are going to end up with too much information, and this It’s going to be very heavy. ”
Maximo launches his personal practice for the first time in 2014 He rented an office one afternoon a week and only a handful of regular clients now holds about 15-18 sessions each week, has his own office, and a book titled ‘Ms. Gullit’ has been published in Los
She also advises the other who works for her, she says, “If you’re killing yourself in your head to not understand things right, then it is not helping you better.” “You are just pushing yourself down and that negative self-speech increases and development and development continues.”
You can start fighting today, he says. Start loving with yourself.