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How to remove the fear of feedback


What is holding us from acknowledging and sharing the reaction with others? The answer can be in your head.

Mary considers herself to be a good manager whenever her employee is struggling with an assignment, she looks forward to arranging things and helping to give points. His company is launching a new 360-degree performance management system on a continuous basis, and, as a leader, for the first time, he has been encouraged to lead the transition by seeking a response from his team. He is excited about this new change because he thinks this will help some team members to fight and solve each other.

But when he receives his reaction, he is surprised to know that many people say that let them go and allow people to work in their own way. One person also used the word “micromanaging”. Although, he is ready to set an example, his first reaction is anger, he spends a lot of time helping his employees solve problems and in turn get criticism. She now wants to take action on the feedback she receives to encourage employees to do so, but she feels betrayed.

Most people have trouble dealing with the response well; Some people have more problems in giving it the reaction means not to harm or criticize people, but there is a way to improve. Even so, we know that the response is good for us, what has caught us from accepting and sharing it with others? The answer can be in your head

What are psychological factors that we are afraid of in response?

The most common answer is the natural negativity of our body bias. Major psychiatrists and neurobiologists found that our brains are very difficult to respond to negative stimuli. It was basically necessary for our existence. The natural fight of our body or the flight mode is triggered by the attack, which increases the amount of hormones released for blood pressure, raising reaction time and increasing our emotions, the experiences that trigger these reactions are opened in our brains So that we can react quickly to dangerous situations. This is why we remember negative experiences more than positive experiences.

But in the establishment of an office, our negativity bias and fight or flight response can actually work against us. Even when most positive feedback is received, then it becomes a creative reaction that we remember most intensely. Although feedback does not constitute a physical attack, but in their separate research, both psychologist Peter Gray and Professor Neil Ashchekas of management explain that criticism can signal the spirit of boycott. In the hunter-gatherer society, people rely on the group to survive. For this reason, creative feedback can sometimes trigger the fear of exclusion from the group.

Are you afraid to give more information about others?

Dr. of the Southern Queensland University A study by Carla Jefferies found that failure to give a constructive response could actually be more about saving itself compared to others. In its experiment, participants were asked to respond to an essay, either in person, Anonymously or feedback that will not be shared with the author.

He found that low self-respecting participants gave a more positive feedback about more important reactions in the person and in the other two situations. High self-respected people gave similar feedback in all situations. According to a researcher from his team, “If someone accepts that people with relatively low self-esteem are expected to give more emphasis on being considered equal or attractive to others, then support for the purpose of self-preservation Offers. ”

In order to support this research, a study conducted by Leadership Development Advisor Janger / Folkman found that 74% of the employees who had received creative feedback had already known that there was a problem. This shows that employees do not have to blindly do things that they need to improve, they are not sure how to improve or do not know completely how it affects the team. . In fact, in his last research, he was found that most employees actually get unconstitutional response.

The warning is that people do not want to get top-down instructions about what to do. In his study, he also came to know that before giving feedback to more managers, the views of his employees were heard carefully, his response was more honest and credible.

Jack Zenger and Joseph Fallman suggest that the best way to give a creative response is to:

1. Give the other person an opportunity to explain the situation and what they think is wrong. Before going into the immediate reaction, let them plan their action first, if you listen carefully from this point, then when you give your opinion, then it is more likely to be well received.

2. Offer to check in the next week so that you can be more advisable without stress.

So are we still afraid?
Your mentality is changing

What is this in the study of Stanford professor Karel Dwayx, “Certain and Development Brains” provide important information in this fear. According to his research, people with a fixed mind persistently perceive their skills as personal traits, while people of development see their skills as low qualifications that can be improved. For example, children who have received praise for being smart in their life, they may have to face the problem of improvement after getting bad grades in the exam. However, children who have been praised for getting good grades on the basis of their hard work and dedication, they can see a bad grade as an opportunity to learn.

When we add capabilities with a portion of our identity, getting constructive criticism can feel more like a personal attack. On the other hand, people with development mindset have time to try harder due to taking more risks and failing. Rather than giving up, there are possibilities to overcome obstacles.

The good news is that we are not naturally divided and fixed in mind. It is possible to develop the mentality of the development towards the reaction, according to the Dutch, the first step is to recognize your definite mentality “voice.” When you blame others for your reaction, it is speaking your definitive mindset. Once you recognize this voice, then you can start opposing it and answer with a development mentality. . See Drake’s Ted talk, “For more inspiration, you can believe that you can improve”

Overcoming the fear of reaction through habit

An important part of controlling your fear is creating a habit of reaction: Pulitzer Prize winning author Charles Dighg’s book The Power of Debit: Why we do what we do in life and business, they describe how neuroscientists and psychologists Detected the brain’s habit of reviving brain towards some of the behaviors. Marketers and CEOs have used key elements to build habit-Q, routine and reward-to motivate some behavior of consumers and employees. Dhughg says that by triggering a regular and reward system triggered by some signals, we can re-raise our brain to create new habits and behaviors.

If you want to start exercising more then leaving the clothes running near your bed and triggering the Q to go for a race in the morning. If you come daily in the routine of going for a race every morning, then your body is used regularly. Incentive can be a reward, such as having a big breakfast when you come home eventually becomes trapped in habit and your The body gets addicted to getting up when you wake up, even if you walk out of your walking clothes or do not have time for a wide breakfast.

One example of this is how Starbucks’s success in training employees to navigate difficult situations with customers. In DuhGug’s book, he introduced Travis, the manager of two successful Starbucks locations, who attributes Starbucks’s life skills training program to its commercial success. In his previous jobs, Travis had difficulties dealing with angry customers. Instead of tackling the situation peacefully, he will be away from the emotions and will debate back, which will make it difficult to hold a steady job. When he started working as a barista in Starbucks, he entered his education training program.

The main focus of the company is customer service and it was found that the best way to do this is to ensure that its workers were trained on life skills, such as managing emotions, staying organized and focused, and, Most important for Travis, through willpower training, Travis works by making known to-be-habits for various situations arising from work. The master could master the feelings. For example, the LATTE method is used to deal with difficult customers:

Listen to the customer

Accept the problem

Take action to solve the problem

Thank them.

Explain why the problem occurred

This program encourages employees to visualize difficult situations with customers, decides how they will respond in advance and practice through roles, after placing a set routine in place, Travis will be an angry customer He was able to overcome his emotional response. As soon as the Q, a compliant customer receives, he dips into his daily routine, allowing him to walk on the level. Since the establishment of this program, the revenue of Starbucks has increased to $ 1 billion, see Duhgung’s thought-provoking Ted talk, which explains more insights from his book.

Creating a habit of habit

You can also use this method to create a habit of feedback in your company so that employees get more feedback, they begin to develop feedback behaviors, as a habit, people are more comfortable in responding to the person Go and grow unwanted response and better business development instead of conversation.

When making a habit of your reaction, keep these three elements in mind to make good habit. For example, your steps may be:

1. Q

Get a feedback notice from a partner

2. Regular

Analyze Feedback

Ask questions to better understand

Thank them.

Organize the way to improve on your feedback

Set goals for yourself based on these strategies

3. Awards

Use feedback to reach the professional goals you’ve set

To keep this in context, we will go back to Mary Marie, who has so far received amazing creative feedback from his staff when thoughts of betrayal and exclusion begin, then he should accept the voice of his mindset and Should answer: It is not that my staff is ungrateful for my help, they just have more opportunities to grow professionally. Es

After following these steps, after obtaining her cue, Mary should automatically bow down through the feedback and write down those keywords and patterns to fill the gap she should respond to her reaction: “When you have an obstacle , What can I do to better support? ” She can complete her thanks for her feedback.

On the basis of their answer, it is time to come up with strategies for improvement. Maybe his employee would like to ask him for the first time that he needs help. When they ask for help, they can be sure to adjust their language and tone, so that they provide suggestions instead of directions. It should consider giving opportunities to individuals as more responsibilities, such as an employee takes the lead for a new project. Another option is to be regular with your staff and to be regular, so when it is needed, it can check and help

Finally, Mary can set her professional goals regarding this reaction: “Becoming a better leader by providing more autonomy to my employees.” He should check from time to time and ask his staff to respond to their management style and what he can do to reach his goals more effectively.


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